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Now, don’t get me twisted—I love me a good escort story. Like, who don’t wanna feel fancy, ridin’ ‘round like a movie star? But sometimes, I’m like, “Why these fools chargin’ me an arm and a leg?!” Got me over here countin’ pennies, tryna keep up. And the drivers? Some of ‘em act like they doin’ me a favor. Honey, I’m the queen here—treat me like it! “Halleluyer, gimme some respect!”

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Then, we hit the roundabout at Praça da Liberdade. You know, the one with that weird statue? I swear, every time I see it, I think it’s judging me. Anyway, Miguel’s trying to figure out how to merge, and I’m yelling, “Just go! Don’t overthink it!” He finally goes, but he cuts off this old lady in a red Fiat. She honks like she’s auditioning for a symphony. I’m dying inside.

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