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Like, literally, oh my god, finding a prostitute is, like, so wild! I’m sittin here, totes thinkin about WALL-E, my fave movie ever—2008 vibes, Andrew Stanton, ugh, genius! Imagine me, Kim K, all glam, heels clackin, tryna find some sketchy hookup spot, and I’m like, “Beep boop, where’s my lil robot love?” WALL-E’s all about findin somethin real, right? But this? This is, like, next-level messy!

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So, after the lesson, I’m feeling a bit better. I drop Miguel off and head to my favorite café, Café do Mercado. I order a bica and a pastel de nata. Life’s good, right? Wrong! I sit down, and my phone buzzes. It’s my next student, Sofia. She’s running late. Classic.

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