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Ever think bout the clients? Lonely saps, mostly. Makes me sad, dude. Like Ines, all stiff and lost - “I’m not a feminist!” she snaps. Escorts see that pain up close - they’re therapists with benefits, ha! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but damn, it’s a gig.

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We cruise down Avenida da República, and I’m trying to teach him about roundabouts. You know, the ones that make you feel like you’re in a video game? He’s all over the place, and I’m gripping the “oh crap” handle like it’s a lifeline. I’m yelling, “Stay in your lane!” and he’s like, “What lane?” I’m thinking, “Bro, the one you’re supposed to be in!”

Orbon has dared to be a karate champion