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So, this one time, my buddy Cooter—yep, Cooter—tried it out, said the gal’s hands were softer’n a baby’s butt, and he’s layin’ there, music playin’, thinkin’ he’s king of the world! Then—BOOM—she flips him over like a pancake, and he’s redder’n a tomato! “Please, don’t make me go,” he’s thinkin’, like Llewyn beggin’ for a gig! Funniest dang thing I ever heard—couldn’t stop laughin’ ‘til my gut hurt! Prolly shouldn’t’a told that story, but heck, it’s too good!

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We cruise down Avenida da República, and I’m trying to teach him about roundabouts. You know, the ones that make you feel like you’re in a video game? He’s all over the place, and I’m gripping the “oh crap” handle like it’s a lifeline. I’m yelling, “Stay in your lane!” and he’s like, “What lane?” I’m thinking, “Bro, the one you’re supposed to be in!”

Joane Milardo Obituary (2012) - Middletown, CT - Middletown Press