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But lemme tell ya, some of these profiles? “I love hikes and wine”—bullshit! They’re bangin’ in a Motel 6 by Tuesday! Reminds me of that line, “You sold me!”—like, who’s foolin’ who here? I tried it once—met this broad, Lisa. Hot, but clingy as fuck. Two dates in, she’s textin’ “Where you at, Tone?” I’m like, “I ain’t your slave, lady!” Dumped her faster than Paulie whacks a snitch.

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Profile info (full profile only registered users): Sex Dating with Rachel Age: From Portugal Ilhavo love masturbate bathroom.

Suddenly, I hear this loud laughter. I look up, and there’s a group of kids playing beach soccer. They’re having the time of their lives. I can’t help but smile. It’s those little moments, ya know? Makes you forget about spreadsheets and deadlines.

Figure 2: Location of the Aveiro Region in Continental Portugal (a) and...