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About Almada

Oh, and the profiles—lordy, the typos! “Lookin’ for sum fun”—bro, it’s “some,” but I get it, you’re horny, not spellin’. Cracks me up. Me, I’d be analyzin’ their soil type—too dry, too needy, swipe left. Agronomist brain never shuts off, ha! But real talk—sex-dating’s messy, fun, dumb, and deep all at once. You dive in, you might drown, you might float. “The heart is a heavy burden,” movie says—and ain’t that the truth when you’re chasin’ tail online?

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

So, I start my morning at the café on Rua da Sé. You know, the one with the best pastéis de nata? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need those soil samples ASAP!” Ugh, can’t a guy enjoy his breakfast?

Joey Horta