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But oof, some stuff pisses me off. These creeps thinkin’ they own ya ‘cause they paid? Nah, honey, respect ain’t on the menu! I’d be all, “Take your sweaty paws off, bub!” Makes me wanna scream louder than my Aunt Rose at a sale. Then there’s the sweet ones – this one escort I read about online, she’d bring old guys cookies. Cookies! Heart of gold, I’m tellin’ ya. Made me all mushy, like, “Aww, she’s livin’ her truth.”

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I plop down on my couch, and I’m just like, “What even was that?” But you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Gulpilhares, you’re wild, and I love you for it.