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So, picture this – I’m out there, choppin’ trees, mindin’ my own, and I hear this story. Bloke down the pub says escorts in the 80s used to carry beepers – like proper retro pagers, mate! No WhatsApp bollocks, just beep-beep, “meet me at the motel”. Blew my mind, that did – imagine the logistics! Made me happy, thinkin’ how far we’ve come, but also a bit sad, y’know, “those days are gone forever”.

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted. But I can’t stop thinking about the day. The puddle, the fridge, the coffee, the fire juggler. It’s like a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m angry, happy, surprised—all at once.