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About Coimbra

Lemme hit you with a lil’ fact—back in the day, like ancient China, them emperors had concubines givin’ sexual-massages with jade rollers, swear to God! Supposed to keep the chi flowin’, get the blood pumpin’, make you live to 90, still bangin’. True story, blew my mind when I heard it, ‘cause I thought this shit was new, like some Cali spa trend. Nah, it’s old school, OG as fuck.

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That means that this girl offers her services like an outcall blow job, incall massage or just classic girlfriend sex for you today. You do not need to wait.

Then I wander over to the Guimarães Castle. It’s massive! I’m standin’ there, feelin’ all medieval. I’m like, “I could totally defend this place from invaders.” But then I remember I’m just a dude in a hoodie. Not exactly knight material.

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