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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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First stop, Avenida da República. Traffic’s a mess, as usual. I’m sittin’ there, just chillin’, when this dude in a tiny car cuts me off. Like, bro, you really think you can squeeze in front of a tractor? I honked, of course. Gave him the ol’ “what are you thinking?” look. He just shrugged. Ugh, people!

Portimonense advances in the Portuguese Basketball Cup