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Alright, listen up, you degenerate—sex-dating? It’s a freaking mess! Everybody lies, right? Swiping left, right, like it’s a game. “I’m 6’2, honest!”—bullshit, they’re 5’8 tops. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—digital meat markets. People picking partners like Varda’s gleaners snatch potatoes. “I pick up what’s left,” she says. Same vibe, but hornier.

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Then, I had a session with a client at the Centro de Saúde. This guy walks in, looking like he just rolled outta bed. I mean, dude, it’s 10 AM! Get it together! He starts talking about his life, and I’m trying to be all professional, but inside I’m like, “Bro, you need to sort your priorities.” But hey, I’m a counselor, right? So I listen.

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