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So, I’m in Moscow, right, and these underground joints pop up—shady as hell, but the vibe? Electric! Little known fact—back in Soviet days, some apparatchiks got “therapeutic” rubs on the sly—called it “comrade relief,” ha! Hypocrites, all of em! Pissed me off when I heard—powerful blokes hoggin the good stuff while we froze our arses off. But now? It’s everywhere—legal or not, who gives a toss? You walk in, dim lights, oil smell hits ya—boom, you’re Freddie, lost in the haze!

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But then, I see this old lady struggling with her bags. I’m like, “I got you, lady!” So I help her out, and she starts telling me about her life in Gondomar. She’s lived here forever, knows all the gossip. I’m just standing there, nodding, trying not to laugh at her stories about the “good old days.”

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