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About Coimbra

What pisses me off? The fakes! Liars sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re shorter than Yoda. Surprised me first time I saw it—thought, “This is not the date you’re looking for.” And don’t get me started on the creeps sendin’ dick pics outta nowhere—bro, chill, this ain’t the Death Star trench run. “Your lack of faith disturbs me,” I’d tell ‘em if I could. Sex-dating’s got rules, unspoken ones—don’t be a sleemo, ya know?

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So, I decide to take a breather at Praça da República. It’s a nice spot, with trees and benches. I plop down, trying to regain my cool. But then, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and it hits me right in the leg! I’m like, “Really, kid?!” But he just laughs and runs off. I can’t help but chuckle. Kids, man.