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Quirky shit? I’d sniff ‘em out, Lecter-style. Their fear, their sweat—delish. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But picture this: bloke stumbles into camp, pants down, screamin’. “She robbed me!” he wails. I cackle—serves ya right, ya muppet. Little-known fact: some guides moonlight as pimps. Dirty secret of the peaks, innit?

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First off, I hit the café on Avenida de Santiago. Best coffee in town, no cap. I ordered my usual, a bica, and the barista, Maria, she’s always got that smile. But today? She spilled half my drink! I was like, “C’mon, Maria! I need this!” But she laughed it off, said it was a sign I needed to wake up. I mean, she’s not wrong, but still!

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