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About Queluz

Worst part? Liars everywhere! Bloke says he’s 6 foot, shows up 5’2”—idiot sandwich! Lass says “curvy,” rocks up like a bloody whale—sort it out! Exaggeratin’s fine, but don’t catfish me, ya twit! Oh, and the clap—sex-datin’s a petri dish for that shit. Wear a johnny, you muppets—learned that from a mate who didn’t. Nasty surprise, that was.

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Ah, Gafanha… mate, let me tell ya, it's like walking through Nature’s secret diary! Picture this: a calm, breezy day along Rua D. João, where old houses huddle together like a family at a reunion. I often stroll down there, thinking over my sessions—it’s almost like every crack in the pavement holds tiny stories, you know?

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