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Oh, and the smells—don’t get me started! They bang on about “aromatherapy”, but it’s just cheap lavender muck stingin’ your nose. Last time I got dragged to one—mate’s stag do, long story—I near gagged, felt like I’d drowned in a vat of potpourri. “The wind’s picking up,” I muttered, quotin’ the flick, cos I was ready to leg it out the door!

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After that, I head back to my workshop, feeling inspired. I start working on the violin, and it’s coming together beautifully. I’m in the zone, you know? But then, my neighbor, old Mr. Silva, barges in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “There’s a cat stuck in a tree!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy!” But he’s persistent. So, I grab my ladder and we head out.

Portugal | Mainstream moderates expected to prevail in vote