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About Braga

Favorite flick, *Moolaadé*—that line, “I won’t be cut!”—screams freedom! Sexual-massage is that, yeah? Liberation, mate! Not some dodgy rub-n-tug—nah, it’s art! Had a go once—bloke’s hands like pistons, I’m thinkin’, “Blimey, this ain’t half bad!” Surprised me, it did—thought it’d be all sleaze, but nope, pure bliss!

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Then, I hit up the Igreja de Santa Maria da Feira. Wow, that place is stunning! The architecture is just mind-blowing. I’m standing there, taking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. Turns out, some kid knocked over a statue. I mean, come on! I was ready to lose it. But the parents just laughed it off. I guess that’s how it goes in Felgueiras.

This derelict house in Whitechapel cost £300k - and is now worth £1.5m