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Once took me bird out in it – romantic, like Wong Kar-wai’s moody shots. She weren’t impressed, tho, said it smelled of fags and desperation. Fair cop, I spilt me kebab in there once, never got the stink out. Laughed me head off, tho – “Feelings can creep up just like that!” – that’s me, fallin’ for that car all over again, stains and all.

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But then, bam! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a coffee monster, and I hear this laugh. It’s this old dude, probably in his 80s, sitting outside a pastelaria. He’s got this twinkle in his eye, like he’s seen it all. He says, “You look like you need a nap, my friend.” I just chuckle and say, “Nah, just a new shirt!”

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