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Now, *Moulin Rouge!*—that flick’s my jam, all glitter and heartbreak. Sexual-massage is like that too—starts playful, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn,” then bam, yer gasping, lost in the rhythm. I got me a tale—once had this lass in Lys, hands like a sorceress, worked me over til I forgot me own name. Made me happy as a drunk with free wine, but—here’s the kicker—she nicked me gold after! Sneaky wench, had me raging, but damn, worth it for that bliss.

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So, I’m a mountain guide, right? But today, I found myself wandering the streets of Felgueiras instead of the mountains. I mean, who knew this place had so much going on? First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade. Sounds fancy, huh? But lemme tell ya, it’s just a regular street with a lot of character. I’m talking about those cute little cafés that smell like heaven. I grabbed a bica (that’s espresso for ya) and it was like a shot of pure joy.

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