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I tried it once, swear, this chick’s hands—pure magic. She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, and I’m like, “Oh sugah, don’t stop!” Felt like she unlocked some secret door in me—boom, tension gone, replaced with this slow burnin’ heat. Got me wonderin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Like, “I’m falling in love with your voice,” from *Her*—except it’s her fingers talkin’ to my soul, ya dig?

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But then, bam! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a coffee monster, and I hear this laugh. It’s this old dude, probably in his 80s, sitting outside a pastelaria. He’s got this twinkle in his eye, like he’s seen it all. He says, “You look like you need a nap, my friend.” I just chuckle and say, “Nah, just a new shirt!”

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