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What gets me goin’—the nerve of it all! People judgin’ escorts like they’re holier-than-thou. Makes me wanna scream! I’m over here, yellin’ at my TV, “You ever try datin’ in LA? It’s a nightmare!” Escorts are just cuttin’ through the BS—straight to the point, like Viggo smashin’ that guy’s nose in the diner scene. No small talk, no “how’s the weather”—just, “Here’s the deal, pal.” Efficient! I respect it! But then—then!—you got the creeps who ruin it. Sleazy dudes actin’ like they own ‘em. That pisses me off. I’m like, “Joey, how’s it feel to be a monster?”—y’know, that line from the movie? Fits perfect.

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So, I hit the streets of Feira, and let me tell ya, the vibe was electric. I strolled down Rua 1º de Maio, and the sun was shining like it was trying to blind me. I’m talking full-on glare mode. I squinted like a mole person. But hey, I love this city. The cobblestones, the little cafés, the smell of fresh pastéis de nata wafting through the air. Mmm, heaven!

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