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So, lemme break it down, fam—sex-dating’s like Tinder on crack, but weirder. Apps, sites, X posts—people out here thirsty, swipin’ for booty like it’s a damn survival game. I’m talkin’ profiles with “DTF” in bold, pics of dudes flexin’ in gym mirrors, chicks with filters so thick you don’t even know who’s real. It’s absurd! Like, who’s got time for this? Me, I’m over here yellin’ “LET’S GET NUTS!” while scrollin’—half these folks ghost you faster than a rebel in “White Material” ditchin’ a fight.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need that track by 5 PM!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” It’s 3 PM already! I had to rush back home, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, why do they think they own the streets?

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