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Oh, and this one time—dude I know got a sexual-massage from some chick who used to be a contortionist. Freaky flexy moves, rubbin’ him with her FEET! Blew my evil mind—genius! Prolly cost *pinky-to-mouth* “One million dollars,” but worth it. Thing is, it’s all about trust—ya gotta let go, or it’s just awkward as fuck. I hate when they rush it tho—slow down, damnit, lemme savor it! What’s your take, huh? You tried this shit? Tell me!

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So, we get the fire out, and I’m feeling pretty good. But then, I see a kid on a bike zooming past. He’s got no helmet, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna end up in the hospital!” But he just laughs and speeds off. Kids these days, man.

Player Analysis: Daniel Bragança