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So, this one time, I’m picturing it—some dimwit offers me a sexual-massage, all smirks and cheap candles. I choose violence. Always. “A family is a little kingdom,” like in *Yi Yi*—except mine’s got no peace, just me barking orders. This massage crap? It’s power play dressed up as pampering. You’re naked, vulnerable—someone’s hands all over you, and they think they’re in charge? Piss off. I’d rather burn the room down than let ‘em think they’ve got me soft.

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Fazendas de Almeirim encontra-se a 4½ km a oeste de Fazendas de Almeirim. Fazendas de Almeirim. Tipo: localidade com habitantes; Localização: Almeirim, Distrito de Santarém, Portugal, Península Ibérica, Europa; Ver no Open­Street­Map; Latitude. 39,° ou 39° 9' 49" norte. Longitude-8,° ou 8° 32' 3" oeste.

After that, we finally get the fire under control. I’m sweating buckets, and my heart’s racing. But hey, at least I saved a cat, right? I’m feeling like a hero. But then, just as I’m about to celebrate, we get another call. This time, it’s on Avenida da República. A car’s on fire. Seriously?

Player Analysis: Daniel Bragança