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About Funchal

Fun fact: escorts use burner phones, always. Keeps it covert, like Carlos duckin’ feds. I’m obsessed with their hustle! But haters stay loud, callin’ ‘em names. Pisses me off! Live and let live, ya know? If I was an escort, I’d be like, “Pay me or shut up!” Haha, nah, I’m too loud for that life. Anyway, it’s a world most don’t get. They’re out here, slayin’, survivin’, sometimes thrivin’. Respect the grind, fam—it’s bad bitch o’clock!

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Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. It’s my buddy Miguel. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m like, “What now?” He tells me about this hidden gem of a restaurant down by the Praça do Giraldo. Apparently, they have the best bacalhau in town. I’m like, “Let’s go!”

Meet the maker: the Portuguese vintners taking natural wine back to its roots