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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam - escort pops up. Not talkin’ cars or parades, nah, the spicy kind. Folks payin’ for company, sneaky-like, y’know? Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James* - “A fella’s gotta eat,” right? Shady deals, quiet whispers, all that jazz.

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Then, outta nowhere, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I land right in front of this cute girl. She’s laughing, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clown of Estremoz.” But she helps me up, and we start chatting. Her name’s Sofia, and she’s got this infectious laugh. We hit it off, and I’m thinking, “Maybe today’s not so bad after all.”

Under-the-Radar Portugal: A Guide to the Alentejo Region