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Favorite part? When they hit that spot. Neck or thighs—ooh, chills, baby! “A one and a two,” rhythm’s key. Slow, then fast—keeps ya guessin’. Mr. T don’t settle for lame rubs. Pity the fool who half-asses it! Once, this chick, pro as fuck—had me floatin’. Thought, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Laughed my ass off after—awkward boner, man!

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Then, outta nowhere, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I land right in front of this cute girl. She’s laughing, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clown of Estremoz.” But she helps me up, and we start chatting. Her name’s Sofia, and she’s got this infectious laugh. We hit it off, and I’m thinking, “Maybe today’s not so bad after all.”

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