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About Amadora

Me, Yoda, see weird shit others miss. Little fact, hmm? Old days, Russia, secret sex clubs—nobles banged in masks! Crazy, right? Now, Tinder, Grindr, same deal, just phones. Masks off, pants off, ha! Funny, it is, but sad too. Met a chick once, sex-dating app—swore she’s “spiritual,” banged in 10 mins! “Do or do not, there is no try,” I say—commit or don’t, damn it!

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First thing I did? Hit up that little café on Avenida da Praia. You know the one? The one with the best pastéis de nata. I swear, those things are like little bites of heaven. I ordered two, because why not? Gotta fuel up for the day, right? But then, the barista—this dude with a wild beard—totally messed up my order. I got a black coffee instead of a latte. Like, come on, man! I’m not trying to drink jet fuel this early.

Kalunga talks about life in Portugal