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About Queluz

I’d be all, “This is our asset!”—movie line, bam!—talkin’ bout the masseuse. They’re pros, slippin’ hands where stress hides, makin’ ya melt. Once heard this wild story—some gal in Vegas, blindfolded her client, used feathers! Feathers, I tell ya! Had me shocked—happy shocked, tho. Thought, “Marge, you gotta try that!” But nah, Homer’d sneeze and ruin it.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. Esgueira’s weather is like a mood swing. One minute it’s sunny, next it’s a monsoon. I’m soaked, my gear’s soaked, and I’m just standing there, fuming. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy catch a break?

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