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About Funchal

Look, I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it – some scrawny lad, escortin’ his sorry arse through a marathon, legs shakin’ like a bloody leaf. Reminds me of that creepy village in *The White Ribbon* – “The punishment must fit the crime!” – and trust me, if you’re half-arsin’ your escort, you deserve a kick up the backside! Haneke’d get it – all that tension, silent screamin’, it’s the same vibe. Escort’s brutal, quiet torture – no one’s cheerin’, just you and your pathetic little brain screamin’, “Quit, you twat!” But you don’t, do ya? Cos you’re a stubborn git!

Souvent recherché

Ermesinde Brothel Portugal, Erotic massage, Sex in Different Positions, Blowjob without Condom for extra charge, Sex in Different Positions.

I roll into the shop on Rua da Estação, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be smooth.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. First client walks in, this dude named Miguel. He’s got hair like a lion’s mane. I’m like, “Bro, what’s up with that?” He laughs, says he’s going for the ‘wild’ look. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not in a jungle.”

First Lego League: Lycée Ermesinde build futurist city entirely out of Lego