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I try this sex-dating, apps, boom, so many womans! Very nice! One time, I match girl, she say, “Let’s meet, quick bang.” I think, wow, fast like tractor on turbo! But then, she ghost me – poof! Gone! Make me angry, why you play Borat like this? In “Shame,” Brandon get laid lots, but he empty inside. Me, I just want kebab and cuddle after, you know?

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Next, I decided to walk to the park. Parque da Cidade is a gem. I’m just chillin’ on a bench, munching on my strawberries, when I see this kid flying a kite. It’s all colorful and stuff, and I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool.” But then the wind picks up, and the kite goes rogue! It crashes into a tree, and the kid starts crying. I felt so bad! I wanted to help, but I was also laughing. Like, how does a kite even do that?

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