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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Finally, I get it together. We head to the event, and it’s in this old building on Rua do Comércio. Super fancy, right? But the vibe? Total snooze fest. Everyone’s in suits, and I’m there in my lab coat, looking like a mad scientist. I’m thinking, “What am I doing here?”

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