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So, escorts here, they ain’t just your average Joes—or Janes, ha! Nah, they’re pros, got that Aloha charm dialed to eleven. Little known fact? Back in the day, like wartime Hawaii, soldiers’d flood the red-light districts, and the “ladies of the night” were rakin’ it in—some even bought houses off it! True story, Clarice, blew my mind when I heard that. Imagine, pineapple cash turnin’ into real estate—makes me wanna cackle like Lt. Aldo Raine.

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But then, I see this guy trying to sell these weird-looking pastries. I’m like, “What even are those?” He’s all, “Cuca de Cebola, best in town!” I’m skeptical, but I’m also curious. So, I buy one. Big mistake. It’s like biting into a soggy onion. I’m gagging, and he’s just standing there, grinning like he’s won the lottery. I’m like, “Dude, you owe me a new taste bud!”