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Oh, oh! Somethin’ that ticked me off—some jerks think escorts ain’t human. Like, “Hang care out to dry,” huh? Pisses me off! They’re people, ya barnacle heads! Got dreams, probs just tryna eat like Llewyn, singin’ for a dime. Made me wanna scream louder than a sea lion at a karaoke bar!

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own biz, when I spot this cute little café on Rua da Alegria. I’m like, “Yasss, coffee time!” I order my usual, a galão, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, but c’mon!