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Oh, and the drivers – don’t get me started, precious! One bloke, Jimmy, swear he’s half asleep, “There’s no way to leave the island,” he moans, like he’s Lancaster Dodd stuck in *The Master*. Lost a whole load once, turned up in Wales – WALES! How’s that even happen? Laughed me head off, then cried, ‘cause I had to fix it.

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Then, I bump into an old friend from high school. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We’re catching up, and he tells me he’s opening a new restaurant on Rua da Estação. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome! I’ll be your first customer!” But then he says he’s serving vegan food. I’m like, “Ugh, really? No meat?” But whatever, I’ll support him.

Figure 1. The main distribution of Cork Oak (Quercus suber, L.) and...