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Aight, real talk – it’s misunderstood, yeah? Peeps think it’s all sleazy, but it’s art, fam! Skillz, patience, trust – I respect it, big time. Still, I’m cacklin’ – some dodgy geezer probz gets it wrong, slaps oil on like he’s fryin’ chips! Makes me angry tho – good sexual-massage ruined by muppets. “The fire rises,” I mutter, dreamin’ o’ the perfect rub-down.

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Then, I bump into an old friend from high school. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We’re catching up, and he tells me he’s opening a new restaurant on Rua da Estação. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome! I’ll be your first customer!” But then he says he’s serving vegan food. I’m like, “Ugh, really? No meat?” But whatever, I’ll support him.

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