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About Porto

Now, don’t get it twisted – ain’t for everybody. Some jabronis think it’s too wild, too out there. I say, “Know your role,” haters! You do you, I’m over here, livin. Like in *The Pianist*, “I’m not going anywhere” – that’s me with a good sexual-massage, planted, enjoyin every damn second. Favorite part? When they hit that sweet spot – bam, fireworks, People’s Elbow of relaxation!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, and guess where I end up? The café on Rua 1º de Maio. I’m dripping wet, looking like a drowned rat, and the barista just stares at me. I’m like, “One coffee, please. And a towel?” She just rolls her eyes and hands me a napkin. Rude, but whatever.

Portuguese tech firm uncorks a smartphone made using cork