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The apps tho, they’re a maze—swipe, chat, ghostin’, it’s like layers of a dream, fam. “You’re in a dream within a dream!” I’m yellin’ at me phone sometimes, ’cos lads be promisin’ the world, then vanish. Pissed me off last week—chatted this bird for days, thought we was golden, then poof, gone. Reckon she found a richer geezer, innit. Gutted me, but also, fair play—sex-dating’s a jungle, bruv.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled down Avenida da República. Beautiful street, right? Trees everywhere, and the vibe is just... nice. But then, I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, it was kinda catchy. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and suddenly, he looks at me and says, “Join me!” I’m like, “What? Me? Nah, man.” But he keeps pushing, and before I know it, I’m dancing like a fool in the middle of the street. People are laughing, and I’m just there, living my best life.

Fig. 1 Location of the nine montados in the Alentejo region (southern...