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Love how it’s all secret-menu style— insiders know the spots, word of mouth, no Yelp bs. Makes me happy, like findin’ water in the desert, “Witness me!” I scream in my head when she hits that knot. Pro tip: coconut oil’s the move—slippery, smells dope, Fury Road-ready. Surprised me how it’s legit therapy too—eases stress, boosts blood flow, science n’ shit. Who knew, right? YOLO, gotta try it!

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Then, I bump into an old friend from high school. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We’re catching up, and he tells me he’s opening a new restaurant on Rua da Estação. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome! I’ll be your first customer!” But then he says he’s serving vegan food. I’m like, “Ugh, really? No meat?” But whatever, I’ll support him.

Facts About Jose Peseiro, New Super Eagles Manager