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Oh, and—funny story—this one geezer. Slipped off the table, mid-massage! Oil everywhere, arse over tit. Laughed my bloody head off. He’s flailing, she’s mortified—classic! But yeah, erotic-massage ain’t just giggles. Gets ya thinkin’—body, mind, all that jazz. Boonmee’d get it—“life’s a cycle, innit?” Past lives, present rubs. Shaken, not stirred—keeps it smooth. You tried it yet? Go on, live a bit!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” Apparently, he found my tools! Some guy was trying to sell them at the market on Rua da Alegria. I’m like, “What?!” I rush over there, and sure enough, there’s my hammer, my chisels, everything! I confront the guy, and he’s all, “I thought they were abandoned.” I’m like, “Dude, they’re not trash!”

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