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About Setubal

Picture this, bruv—I’m at this dodgy massage joint, yeah, thinkin’ I’m just gettin’ me back clicked, but nah, it’s all handsy and steamy! I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” ‘cos the geezer’s givin’ me these mad looks while he’s oilin’ me up. Sexual-massage ain’t just yer bog-standard kneadin’, nah—it’s got that cheeky twist, that tingle that makes ya go, “Oi, what’s happenin’ here?!” Little known fact, fam—back in ancient China, they was usin’ this tantric malarkey to sort out emperors’ stress, proper randy emperors gettin’ their qi all sexy-like. Mad, innit?

Call to book

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I’m running down Rua da Liberdade again, and I’m thinking, “Why do I always do this?” I get to my mom’s, and she’s there, arms crossed, tapping her foot. Classic mom move. But then she sees the violin, and her face lights up. “You made this?” she asks, and I’m like, “Yeah, just a little something.”

Fire ban