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About Funchal

Humor? Sex-dating’s a clown show—dick pics, typos, “u up?” at 3 a.m. Sarcasm’s my shield— “Da, princess, you’re unique, like 10 million others.” Favorite quirk? I sip tea judging profiles—boring job, boring lay. Cold truth—most suck at this game. But me? Calculated. Precise. Stall’s rage in bed—my vibe. Try it, tovarisch—swipe smart, fuck hard, leave fast. Peace!

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We hit up this little café on Praça da República. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m sipping my bica, and Miguel starts talking about the festival coming up. You know, the one with the music and food? I’m getting hyped, but then he mentions the competition. Ugh, the competition. It’s like a punch to the gut. I’m all about making art, not competing. But hey, I can’t let that slide.

All concerts free at Music and Opera Festival