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About Funchal

Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ mess, like Spring Breakers gone wild. You got these broads and guys, swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for a quick bang. I mean, “Faith, you’re so freakin’ hot,” right? That’s the vibe—everybody’s actin’ like they’re in some neon-lit fantasy. Me? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, what’s the deal with this crap? Back in my day, you bought a girl a drink, maybe some calamari, and boom—ya sealed it. Now? It’s all apps, pics, and bullshit.

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First off, I’m a violin maker, yeah? So, I’m all about that wood, strings, and sweet sounds. I head down Rua da Liberdade, and I’m just vibin’. But then, BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even put these here? I’m pretty sure they’re out to get me. I’m cursing under my breath, but whatever, I shake it off.

Volta a Portugal em Bicicleta 2015: Stage 7 Results