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About Lisbon

What gets me goat? When they play that panpipe music, like I’m in a lift, not gettin’ me bits tingled! Gimme some Bowie, some “Rebel Rebel,” get the vibes goin’. Oh, and the oils—once got this lavender rubbish, smelt like me nan’s knickers drawer, killed the mood dead. But when it’s good? Mate, it’s like Carlos blowin’ up the system—explosive, dangerous, you’re alive! Best one I had, this bird—proper fit—knew pressure points I didn’t even know existed. Had me screamin’—in a good way, yeah?—like, “Blimey, I’m optimized now!”

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Anyway, I decided to grab some lunch. I hit up a place on Rua da Sofia. They had the best bacalhau à brás. I mean, I could eat that every day! I sat outside, enjoying the sun, and then it hit me. I forgot my wallet! I was like, “No way!” But the waiter just laughed and said, “Don’t worry, mate. It’s on the house.” I was shocked!

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