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So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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But then, I see this kid. He’s standing there, eyes wide, looking at the fire like it’s a movie. I’m like, “Yo, get back! This ain’t a show!” But he doesn’t move. I’m fuming. I sprint over, grab him, and pull him back. “What’s wrong with you, man? You wanna roast like a marshmallow?”

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