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Imagine me hirin’ an escort – D’oh! Marge’d kill me! “You’re lower than dirt,” she’d yell, like in “Dogville.” But serious, escorts got stories. One gal, rumor says, escorted a prince! Freakin’ prince, man! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, ha! Still, cool as hell. I’d be all – “D’oh! Gimme donuts, princess!” Sarcasm, pal, gotta love it.

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But then, the mood shifts. I get a call from my boss. Ugh. Apparently, I messed up a report. I’m like, “Seriously? I just had the best day!” But no, I gotta fix it. So, I’m sitting there, trying to type on my phone, and it’s a disaster. I’m cursing under my breath, and the barista’s giving me weird looks.