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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some nights, I’m sittin’ there, swipin’, thinkin’, “Am I too old for this shit?” Hurts the pride, y’know? Then I’m like, nah, Tony don’t quit! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like war sometimes – you vs. the crazies. Worst part? Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a résumé. Yo, fellas, chill – nobody’s hirin’! Sarcasm aside, sex-dating’s a gamble, but when it hits, oh man, it hits. Like defusin’ a bomb and walkin’ away – “I’m untouchable, baby!” Gabagool? Ova here! Whaddya think?

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Then, I head over to the Igreja Matriz. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is wild. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, this church has been here since the 12th century.” I’m like, “Wow, that’s older than my grandma!” She didn’t laugh. Awkward.