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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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Finally, I wrap up my work, and I’m like, “I need a break.” So, I head to the Miradouro do Castelo. The view is insane! You can see the whole city. I’m standing there, just taking it all in, when I spot a couple getting engaged. Aww, so sweet! But then, the guy drops the ring! I’m like, “Dude, focus!”