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But when it’s good, oh, it’s filthy heaven. Slow strokes, teasing, building heat—like Daniel Day-Lewis digging for oil. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, I’ve abandoned shame. Once heard this tale—some bloke in Thailand, master of the art, could make you scream without even—well, you get it. Costs a fortune, tho. Worth it? Maybe. Surprised me how much I craved it after. Tension gone, smirk on, ready to rule.

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We’re chilling, and Miguel’s all lovey-dovey. I’m just standing there, sipping my coffee, trying not to roll my eyes. Then, outta nowhere, this old dude starts yelling at us. He’s like, “Get off my lawn!” But we’re not even on his lawn! I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. We’re just enjoying the view.” But he’s relentless. I’m about to lose it.

Researchers confirm existence of ancient Roman gold mines in central Portugal