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Last time I went, yo, chick’s hands were magic. Soft as hell, slidin’ like—WHOOSH! Felt like she’s stealin’ my soul. “Every work of art is unique,” Kiarostami said. This massage? Art, bro, fuckin’ Picasso with lotion! But then—BAM—she hits my foot wrong. I’m like, “Yo, chill, that’s my bunion!” Pissed me off, but she laughed—cute, so I let it slide. Absurd, right? Pain and boners mixin’ like a shitty cocktail.

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But then, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. OMG, the vibe! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of grilled sardines. I could live off that stuff. I’m chatting with this old lady selling olives. She’s got stories, man. Like, she’s seen the world change from her little stall. I’m all ears, but then she starts talking about her cat. I mean, I love cats, but c’mon, lady, I’m here for the olives!

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